


Try To Save The World (and watch as it falls into ruin)

by silvertongue42



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Gen, M/M, More might be added as I go, Murder, Suicidal Ideation, Wes Gibbins and Dean Thomas are the same person, i haven't slept in 2 days and I'm putting this up so I won't freak out and delete it, mention of child soldiers (because D.A. Was made up of them and Harry was one), obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:39:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertongue42/pseuds/silvertongue42
Summary: Wes Gibbins can't escape his past. And after watching his birth father get murdered he's not sure if he wants to. Luckily the Keating 5 are there to listen.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read the tags you'll know that the only reason I'm sharing anything I've written is because I'm to tired to talk myself out of it. The grammar is a mess. The whole thing is a mess. I hope anyone who reads this likes it? I'm going to remind that there are trigger warning because that's important. Enjoy.

When Wes gets home he feels tired. Numb. In a way he hadn't since the war. He remembered being adopted and brought to Britain after his mother killed herself. He was adopted and his name was changed to Dean Thomas. Hogwarts was the exact fresh start that he needed, until it wasn't. The war had ruined so much. After months of PTSD and flashbacks to Malfoy Manor and being on the run and ohgodthefinalbattleandwherewasseamus?andohgodharrywasdeadandtheywereprobablyallgoingtodiebuthewasdamnedifhewouldntgodownfightingandthankgoditwasoverandseamuswasalivehewasalivethankgodandhecouldbreatheagainandtheyhadwon. And there were so many funerals and events and everything was to much and he was drowning. And then he and Seamus got into a huge fight and he left. Packed up his wand (but didn't break it because just in case), and anything he might need in a trunk that required his blood to open. He became Wesley Gibbins, straight law student (because face it, he could never date a man who wasn't Seamus, he would always be comparing them and god knows that wouldn't be fair). And then Rebecca (who he had never actually slept with because god his heart was shattered but she was more than willing to hold him during the nightmares and kiss him and was different from Seamus in so many ways that it might have worked and she understood that he wasn't quite ready but he might be someday and that it wasn't anything against her but god she was dead now and Laurel has kissed him and still seemed sort of interested and that was a minefield he wasn't ready for). And god he couldn't call Laurel but he needed someone who understood what it felt like to have blood on their hands (and god why didn't he use magic to just get rid of Sam or hurt Annaliese or any of it? But no, that wasn't his life anymore). And he was so sick of secrets and so he looked at the trunk and bought about apparating and going and looking for Seamus (but no, Seamus had said he never wanted to see him again and he didn't want to see Seamus- and wasn't that a lie but he had erased Dean Thomas and it was going to stay that way). So he groaned and he turned and picked up his phone. Asher? Michaela? Connor? Didn't they deserve to know that they were going to be involved in yet another round of this ridiculousness? He just called Asher because he might get it because his dad was an ass too, so he just called him and stated as blandly as he could, "Frank just killed my father and I'll explain but please come to my apartment and bring booze." And Asher came and he was so tired and he was shaking and he still had blood on him and he might be in shock. Even the war hadn't prepped him for all of this. So Asher showed up, and he just sort of stood, back pressed against the railing outside Wes's apartment before pushing his way in. And Asher looked at him, covered in his father's blood and understood. He understood without Wes having to explain, all of the shock and the horror that was running through him. And then he came in and suddenly Wes was in the shower and then he was clean and in his softest clothes because Asher had obviously gone through this and knew what he needed to do. And then Wes knew he had called the right person (or at least the almost right person because it was really Seamus he wanted but he couldn't have him). Andgodhewassotiredanddiddeathjustfollowhimeverytwherehewent?  
And then Asher pushed some whiskey at him and he started to drink. Asher stuck next to him and the whole story came tumbling out. He told him about his mother and Annaliese and Eve and his father and how he got adopted and then came law school and then Annaliese and Sam and everything else and god this was his fault. He killed his dad. No, Frank killed his dad and he didn't know why. And he was crying and thank god Asher understood, and he knew enough to not tell him everything would be okay. Asher took care of him and listened as he told him everything Annaliese had done to him, and for him. Everything he had done (or almost, not including the war). How she told him about how they should get dispose of Sam and that Rebecca was dead somehow and god he was tired. And he knew that this was all his fault. But he was tired and at this point maybe he should just kill himself. Andshithesaidthatpartoutloudandfuckwhatnow. And then Asher was telling him "don't you dare." And Annaliese was going to kill him, or have Frank do it and he'd rather not be shot with a sniper rifle like his father had been. And then he was on the floor crying and Asher looked so broken and lost and he was crying too and he understood and god what happened now? And he was drunk and Asher was calling someone and suddenly someone was knocking at the door and he was being put to bed and there were voices and they sounded familiar. And then god he was asleep but he kept seeing people die and then he was awake and screaming for Seamus who wasn't going to come this time, who was never coming again and he was thrashing and fighting and someone was holding him and he was crying and apologizing because obviously he was wrong because this must be Seamus and he couldn't really see but he was apologizing for the fight and god he was sorry he hadn't gone to the commendation ceremony but god he didn't want a medal for fighting in a battle. Seamus they were seventeen and he didn't care if he'd been captured and tortured. This wouldn't make it worth it. Because yes he had fought in the battle but he didn't need and medal reminding him. He didn't care how many lives he saved and maybe Seamus didn't care but did he understand how many people were dead? He didn't want to stand on a stage and say his name was Dean Thomas, yes that one, the one held in captivity and tortured before returning and fighting for his life and the lives of those he cared about. He was seventeen and they had survived a war but the cost was to large and he should be dead and he didn't mean to tell Seamus that but god what else could he say. He was a child soldier, and he'd do it again- and wasn't that a sickening thought. Maybe it wasn't worth it. Maybe he should have just died in that dungeon and he shouldn't have been rescued and god he was sorry about the fight and for running away to make a new life but please don't leave again, and wasn't this what he had said to do? To just run away?  
And then it was morning and Asher and Connor and Michaela and Laurel were sitting in his kitchen and god his head was pounding and what had happened? And then Asher was looking guilty and explaining hat he had to call them, because Wes was going to kill himself and Asher couldn't do this alone. And they were looking at him and Asher had obviously told them everything and Wes just stood there. Annaliese was going to kill him. He said it out loud. Tasting the words. Nobody would really miss him. There was silence and then Michaela looked him in the eyes and said what about Seamus? And Wes's world shook. Connor looked hard at him and, god Wes knew that the attacks in London had been referred to as terrorist attacks and mail had been delivered a few weeks ago stating that his name had gone down on the list of people who had fought against the group terrorizing London and that he had essentially been put on the Muggle internet in a statement saying that he was one of the people who had won an award. Yet another reason to change his name. He knew if they googled Dean Thomas, terrorist attack London they would find the name and a statement saying he had helped and won some sort of award and he had never intended to tell anyone that information but now he might have to. It didn't matter. He knew the name had been a challenge and that his dream apology had obviously been told to Connor or Asher last night as a male had been the one holding him when he had apologized (thanks god he hadn't mentioned magic). Seamus wouldn't give a rats ass and he said as much. But that obviously wasn't what the challenge was about. It was obviously about the fact that he had kept yet another secret and god they had wanted to go to the police in the beginning and he might as well. "Seamus was my best friend and now he's my ex boyfriend who I haven't spoken to for years.”  
There's silence for a minute as the others digest it, and gods when did Asher become the comforting one of all of them?  
"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" It's a gentle rebuke with a angry undertone of we were all in this together how many secrets are there? Wes shrugged, because it was his past and finding out Annaliese had something to do with it and that he was a byproduct of rape hadn't been something he was exactly proud of. He says as much. Then he tells them he has no other secrets relating to Annaliese and being a law student and Sam and everything. He was scared that night so he followed Annaliese's orders. They of all people should understand that feeling. Michaela looks at him and asks the question that's been hovering in his mind. "Do you think that she told him to do it? That this is another one of her schemes?"  
"Does it matter at this point?" Connor states, "She's pulling all the strings either way.”  
It's Asher who speaks up next, quietly like he doesn't really want to say the words. "That's three of our parents that are dead because of her." He's sitting down again and Wes tucks himself against Asher. Leaning on him. "What happens now? Annaliese made it pretty clear she didn't really want this knowledge to go any further than it already had. And I don't know what's going on with Laurel and Frank right now."  
"We stick together, that's all we can really do."  
Michaela leans forward "you were one of the child soldiers, and to you this is just following orders isn't it?" And it's not really like he can explain and he tries to say as much, that this is on him. He didn't have to listen to Annaliese. He didn't have to bash Sam over the head. They're looking at him and obviously they want to know more.  
So he rubbed his eyes and told them he'd tell them but he needed some coffee first. He altered the story so that it didn't include magic. He had told Asher he had been adopted, but his name hadn't initially become Wesley Gibbins, Gibbins was his adopted mothers maiden name and Wesley was actually his middle name. He had changed it after leaving Britain. He had been adopted under the name Dean Thomas.  
He pulled out his phone and dialed. "Hi Oliver, it's Wes. I'm going to give you a name, Dean Thomas. Please give me some information on him. It's important " He puts the phone on speaker and waits. The others are looking at him but he doesn't meet anyone's eyes. After a few minutes there's a little gasp of horror on Oliver’s end. His voice comes out a bit strangled as he says "Dean Thomas. He was one of the people given a commendation by the Prime Minister for helping take out that terrorist group when he was seventeen. All the newspaper articles say is that he got it in service of helping Britain. But… if you look in some less easily accessible places it lists why. He helped take down the terrorist group behind the attacks on Britain four years ago. The group killed his parents and younger siblings. Apparently he was working against them in aide of his classmate Harry Potter, there was awhile where he was on the run from them, but he was captured and presumably tortured. He was rescued and someone with the name Dobby Elf died while helping free him. He was next seen in the final battle where he went back to his boarding school and fought alongside his classmates and some others, he helped kill some of the terrorist Group and evacuate younger students. He was injured in the attack from what I can tell. God, he was essentially a child soldier. Six months after the battle he went to the government and changed his name and apparently left for the U.S., there's a picture of him- oh god, Wes, I'm so sorry. Wes cut him off, "It's fine Oliver, it was a long time ago. I'm sorry to run off like this but I've got to go, I just didn't know how to explain it to the others. Thank you."  
He hesitated before saying "I'm sorry that you had to look at and explain where I couldn't. Connor can explain the rest to you later. Thanks, you too, bye." And he hangs up and says, "Seamus could handle the guilt. It was kill or be killed but I was drowning in it and we fought and I told him he was just like those terrorists- willing to kill for a cause. That we were killers and that we shouldn't get awards for that. We fought. He said he never wanted to see me again. I disappeared. And then I came here and I thought I was doing something good helping Rebecca and working for Annaliese. But-- I did it again. I'm a screwed up murderer who ruins lives. Just like you said Connor." And he has arms around him and he's crying and being comforted and he doesn't deserve it. But for some reason these people seem to, and that's just going to have to be enough for now.


End file.
